It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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