maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
