dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
