My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
