Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
