: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
