the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
