I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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