remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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