i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
