This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
