Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
