if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
