Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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