you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
