it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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