I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
