Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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