Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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