Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Randomize
