Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Shame - the story of my life.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
