Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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