I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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