if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
