I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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