Sponge bath it is.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I would fuck him just for his dog
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
