Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
