Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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