i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
