i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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