apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
