youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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