closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
