im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
