New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
