I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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