glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Me. At least after what I've been through.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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