I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
