I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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