i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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