I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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