If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
cat food counts as protein by the way
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
