You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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