I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Randomize
