garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
