so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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