New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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