I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
