Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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