i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
