was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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